You've Got Me Ten Feet Off the Ground
by smellslikecorruption
Summary: Oh, to be young and dumb and in love with you. A collection of episode-tagged Bade oneshots. Ch. 3- I keep pushing the bruise, because I don't want to lose what I loved about you.
1. As They Scrape Across the Floor

I often find myself wanting to write short, episode tag stories- especially Jade/Beck-centric ones. So I decided to start a collection of them, all in one story (because it's not like several dozen of those exist already or anything). I have no idea when/if/how frequently I'll add chapters, and since each one will be a stand alone, I'm marking the story as complete.

….

**Title**: (I Know the Sound of the Handcuffs) As They Scrape Across the Floor

**Summary**: Missing scene from _Crazy Ponnie_. In which Jade is plotting, Beck has a solution, and the rest of them try _really_ hard to ignore the implications.

**Length**: ~1,000 words

**Rating**: Pg-13 I guess? There's absolutely nothing explicit, but it's pretty suggestive.

**Genre**: Humor/friendship, with a dash of romance.

**AN**: Oh man. I am going to a special hell for this. But surely I wasn't the only one who went to an…interesting headcanon place in regards to those handcuffs?

Disclaimer: If I were in charge, no way in hell would it be on Nickelodeon.

"Jaaaade!" Cat implored from her relatively safe position behind both Andre and Beck. "I'm seriously so, so sorry! Please come eat lunch with us. Pleeeeease?"

Jade continued to seethe for a moment, and then broke into a deadly grin. "Sure Cat. I'll come eat lunch with you."

Cat's voice wavered. "Y-yay?"

Andre gulped and took half a step backwards, pushing Cat further behind him as he went.

Beck frowned and glanced between a now terrified Cat and an eerily calm Jade. He recognized the tone of her voice, even if her lack of eyebrows made it slightly more difficult to read her expression.

Jade was planning something.

"Uh-oh."

Andre and Cat swung around to look at him.

"Uh-oh? What uh-oh?" Andre demanded.

Jade shot him a glare and the skin on her forehead twitched in what was unmistakably a single raised eyebrow.

If she'd had eyebrows.

But she didn't, which made the whole thing somewhat unsettling.

"Uh, nothing. Let's go eat, yeah?"

…

When the four of them reached their normal table, already occupied by Robbie, Beck didn't sit down. Instead he ran his fingers through his hair and looked towards the parking lot.

"I'll be right back."

Cat looked up in panic. "What? No! You have to stay, in case Jade decides to kill me! Or do other bad stuff to me!"

Jade said nothing, but fixed Cat with a wide, unblinking stare.

"I'm coming back. I have to go get something. Something that will stop her from hurting you."

Jade scoffed. "Yeah, don't count on it."

Cat squeaked. Beck smiled.

"We'll see."

After he walked away, Jade turned her focus back to Cat and asked, "Why is it so important that Beck be here to protect you? Andre's here. And Robbie I guess." She added as an afterthought.

"Hey! I resent that!"

Cat shrugged. "He's the only one who's not afraid of you."

"It's true." Andre chimed in. Robbie nodded in agreement and slapped his hand across Rex's mouth, muffling whatever the puppet had been about to say.

She'd known, of course, that Beck had never been scared of her the way most people were. They'd talked about it occasionally, usually when they were goofing around, or curled up in the RV, and Jade was about as intimidating as a hamster. But there was something about hearing it said so matter-of-factly by the others that threw her off. She even stopped plotting her revenge on Cat for a few minutes.

At least until Robbie spotted something over her shoulder and very nearly choked on his lunch.

Andre turned to see whatever it was that had sent Robbie into a coughing jag, and was met with the sight of Beck holding a set of handcuffs that couldn't possibly be regulation.

"Dude. Don't _ever_ explain those to me."

Jade twisted around next to him, and her eyes widened, giving her the appearance of a well-groomed alien.

"You still have those in your _car_?"

Beck had the common courtesy to at least look a little ashamed. "Yes…"

To Andre's supreme discomfort, Jade was rapidly turning a deep shade of pink.

"Why? _Why_ are you still carrying those around?"

Beck smirked at her. His voice dropped an octave and took on a tone that Andre could have happily gone his whole life without hearing. "Never know when you might need to make a citizen's arrest."

Jade bit her lip and went from pink to crimson. Andre made as much noise as possible while turning back to his lunch, and determinedly kept from looking at Beck looking at Jade.

Cat watched the whole exchange while desperately trying to keep an expression of blissful ignorance. And she was absolutely not thinking about the time Jade had rushed into school seconds before the bell, with weird red marks on her wrists and followed by a more-rumpled-than-usual Beck.

"So, um, how are those going to keep Jade from attacking me?"

Beck answered without taking his eyes off Jade's. "I was thinking if we lock her to the table, she won't be able to reach you. Can't touch you, can't hurt you."

"Yeah," Robbie chuckled. "Because Jade is totally going to let you chain her to-"

"Okay." Cat did _not_ notice that Jade seemed to be having trouble catching her breath. Not at all.

"Dang girl! What were y'all _into_?"

"Rex!"

Jade snapped out of whatever weird mental place she'd gone to, and shot Rex a look so scathing Robbie was a little surprised when Rex didn't spontaneously combust.

"Beck, man! Lock her up before she crazy murders me! Puppet-cide isn't punishable by California law!"

Beck shook himself slightly, his eyes narrowing. "Did you look up laws about puppets? Never mind. I don't want to know. Here Andre, take this end."

"Do what now?"

"Just help me out alright?"

Andre frowned, but he reached for the cuffs anyway.

Jade held out her wrist. "Put it on the outside of my jacket. So it doesn't chaff."

"Uh, yeah. Sure thing."

Robbie watched silently while Andre and Beck attached Jade to the table.

Andre fumbled a little. Beck did not.

Jade muttered under her breath about certain actions being a little extreme. Robbie would have been more convinced if he hadn't heard her agree- almost instantly- to the situation barely five minutes earlier.

When they'd finished, Beck slid the key into his pocket and walked to the empty seat at the table, sat down, and calmly began getting out his lunch.

Cat, in a desperate attempt to derail the silence that was quickly approaching extreme levels of awkward, blurted out the first thing that popped into her head.

"Does anyone know if it's possible to reattach eyebrows? Because technically I still have Jade's in my purse!"

Jade growled and lunged for Cat, only to be stopped short by the handcuffs. Cat shrieked and would have fallen off the bench if Robbie hadn't stopped her with his arm.

Cat shared a wide-eyed look with Andre and Beck. "Um. Maybe don't unlock those until lunch is over?"

…..

Reviews are lovely.


	2. Beck Vs The Cricket

**Title:** The Saga of Beck and The Cricket

**Summary:** four conversations Beck and Jade have about the cricket, and one Beck has with Andre.

**Length**: ~1,000 words

**Rating**: pg-13 for suggestive themes.

**Genre**: Humor/Romance

**AN**: All dialogue, tie-in to A Christmas Tori.

….

**November 14****th****, 3:08 a.m.**

"It's three a.m. What could you possibly want?"

"Hello to you too, Dear."

"I'm sorry. Hello _Darling_. It's three a.m."

"I know. I'm sorry. Were you asleep?"

"Nah, I'm watching TV. The infomercials they run this time of night are a mixture of maniacal and depressing that I find extremely enjoyable. What's up?"

"I have kind of a weird question."

"…Beck, so help me, if the next words out of your mouth are 'what are you wearing?' I am hanging up the phone."

"What? No! Although now that you mention it… No! That wasn't what I was calling about!"

"Good. I mean, it's not like I would be opposed normally, but my grandparents _and_ my parents are all right upstairs, and on a list of breakfast conversations I'd never like to have, 'I thought people had to pay to get girls to say things like that on the phone, really Jadey have some decorum' is right at the top. What's your question?"

"Right. Is, uh, is there any way you could have accidentally lost a cricket in the RV?"

"Did I _lose_ a _cricket_?"

"Uh-huh."

"No Beck, I did not lose a cricket in the RV."

"…Did you leave one here on purpose?"

"What the-Why would I do that?"

"I don't know! You made a really romantic gesture with a vicious attack dog once, and sometimes you bring me goldfish. Also, everything is plausible at three in the morning."

"So I can assume that there is a rogue cricket somewhere near you?"

"Well I don't know if it's _near_ me, but yeah. It woke me up, and I thought it was just you playing around with your phone, but when I rolled over, you weren't here and I remembered you're at your grandparents' house, and then I thought maybe it was your cricket and you'd know where it was so I could get rid of it and go back to sleep."

"You're out of luck, babe. Not my cricket. Can't you jut tune it out it or something?"

"_Trust_ me, I'm trying."

"…You have your pillow over your ears right now don't you?"

"…Maybe."

"You know what's stupid? I really miss you. Like, a lot. Stupid amounts."

"I thought you were going to say that _I'm_ stupid."

"Oh, you are."

"But you love me anyway."

"For some reason."

"I miss you too."

"Obviously. I'm awesome. And I could totally catch the annoying cricket. And there's that whole thing where you love me."

There is that. You'll still be back Sunday ri- hang on, I'm getting a text."

"Okay."

"….Jade?"

"Yes?"

"Did you just send me a picture of your-?"

"Yes."

"Uh…"

"It's pretty much impossible to overhear a text. If you get what I'm saying. Plus, distraction from the cricket! Everyone's a winner! ...Beck? Still with me?"

"I'm hanging up now so it's easier to type."

"Good call. Good luck with your houseguest."

….

November 21st, 12:58 a.m.

"_Beck_. I swear to _God_, if you flip over one more time I will _cut off_ all your hair."

"Why won't it stop, Jade? Why. Won't. It. Stop?"

"The cricket?"

"Yes! It won't shut up, and I can't sleep, and this can't keep happening!"

"I agree. Because you know what keeps _me_ up? Trying to sleep next to you while you're tossing and turning in a one-person bed!"

"I'm sorry. It's the stupid cricket!"

"Ignore it!"

"I can't! I'm not magic, like you! I can't just sleep on command!"

"Then put on some headphones or something, and _lay still_!"

…..

**December 12****th****, 2:42 a.m.**

"OW!"

"Ahh! Jesus _Christ_, Beck! What the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"S'fine. Why'd you scream?"

"I dropped the edge of my desk on my toe. It hurt."

"Uh, babe? Why are you moving all the furniture around in the middle of the night? In the dark?"

"…I'm trying to catch the cricket."

"Right now?"

"I need to be able to follow the sound of its voice."

"It has a voice? Did it turn into Jiminy while I was sleeping?"

"You know what I mean. It only makes noise at night."

"So call a bug killer."

"I can't call an exterminator for _one_ cricket, that's so embarrassing! I should be capable of catching the stupid thing by myself! There are guys out there trapping bears for goodness sake!"

"Whatever, Pa Ingalls. You coming back bed, or are you going a couple rounds with the wardrobe?"

…

**December 19****th****, 3:50 p.m. **

"Hey, thanks for catching the cricket, man. Seriously."

"Anytime. Or, actually the next time just remember about the peanut butter. I felt kind of creepy being in your RV by myself."

"Will do. Hey, Andre? Uh, earlier you said my mom let you in? She like, opened the door for you and everything?"

"No… She just gave me the spare key. I let myself in."

"Oh! Okay, good. Because that would have been, um, in violation of the rules set up, and y'know, a total invasion of privacy and…my roof, my…rules…And-"

"And you haven't picked up in awhile and it would have been awkward if your mom noticed that about half the clothes on your floor are Jade's?"

"Yeah. Yeah, mostly that."

…..

**December 19****th****, 11:13 p.m.**

"Evenin' Sleeping Beauty."

"Hi. It's dark. What time is it?"

"A little past eleven. I got here around five, but you were kind of passed out and I didn't want to wake you up. Y'know, Christmas spirit and all that. And I got to finish my book, so it worked out."

"Christmas spirit?"

"That, plus one more day of Beck: Insomnia Edition, and I was going to snap."

"Well, for whatever reason, thanks. Peaceful slumber is possibly the best thing in the- Wait, why are you wearing a coat inside?"

"Yeah…about that. Remember at school earlier? Tori's Christmas present for Andre? Tori. And Cat. And me. Dancing. In outfits... You know where those came from? The sales rack at Victoria's Secret. I mean, not Tori's. But Cat's. And mine."

"Um."

"And I couldn't help but notice your, well, lack of noticing. Your girlfriend was in the school hallway, wearing _Christmas themed lingerie_, and what did you do? You took a nap."

"J-Jade, sweetie, I noticed, I _really_ noticed, but I've just been so tired and-"

"Relax, Sweaty McFlop-sweat. I know how much you needed sleep. I had front row seats at Man Vs. Cricket, so it's cool. You get a pass. _One_ pass."

"So you're still wearing…"

"Ho, Ho, Ho."

"Babe?"

"Hmm?"

"Lose the trench coat."

"Lose the pants."

"Deal."


	3. Keep Pushing the Bruise

Title: Keep Pushing The Bruise

Summary: Because I don't want to lose what I loved about you. What happened after the vet's office? Tag for Opposite Date.

Length: ~ 1500 words

Rating: Pg. I know. I'm amazed too.

AN: Ok, I'm sure there are dozens of these sort of fics going around right now, but Opposite Date left me with Bade feelings like whoa, so now this exists. Kind of fluffy towards the end. I was also inspired by this quote from an article I read the other day; "But when you really love someone, they become beautiful no matter what sort of nonsense they get themselves into, no matter what they do or say or the various ways in which they infuriate or ignore you." And the song All Good Things by the Weepies, which is where the title is from.

Cat has, somehow, convinced Tori to stay in the Vet's office with her and help facilitate a video chat between her brother's sick turtle and Maureen.

This means that Beck is facing the exciting prospect of putting ointment on his aunt's dog all by his lonesome. It also means that Cat is frighteningly good at getting people to do what she asks, but he already knew that.

Whatever. At least he can get out of the waiting room from hell and the clearly demonic patrons with their annoyingly perceptive questions.

"I'm just gonna…" He trails off and gestures between the dog and the ointment in his hand. Everyone can surely imagine the rest. Tori makes a noise that seems to indicate that she's heard him, so he turns for the door.

He doesn't want to turn and check but he's fairly certain that the little girl with the pigtails and the narcoleptic mother is staring him down the whole time.

He's lifting the dog into the bed of his truck when the door swings open again and he catches someone saying, "probably finish what the damn near started in this waiting room."

"Hey."

He smiles at her voice. It's a habit he never really got over.

He pats the dog's head, shuts the tailgate, and turns. "You sure you want to be out here?"

She scoffs. "What, you think I care what some weirdos in an animal clinic think we're doing out here? You wish."

"Nah, it's not that. Anyone who's out here with me gets to help administer the ointment."

He wags his eyebrows at her.

She folds her arms. "I am absolutely not doing that."

But she's smiling at him, a little, and it's almost how she used to look at him when they were alone, and he really can't help the answering pull of his lips.

"So if you didn't come for the exciting ointment action..."

"I'm putting the child lock on my windows. Earlier, Cat stuck her head out of the passenger side so she could 'lick the air like a dog.' I kid you not."

He cringes. "Yikes."

"Also I, uh, I wanted to ask you why those freaks in there knew who I was?"

Oh right. That. At one point, in a fit of irritation, Jade had started a list entitled, People With Too Much Information On the Relationship of Jade West and Beck Oliver. He should really check the RV and see if it's still there somewhere. He has some names to add.

Jade is tapping her toe on the pavement and when he looks up into her face she's got one eyebrow arched. It kind of makes his stomach hurt, in that way it's been doing every time they've made eye contact since she walked out and he didn't follow.

"Well?"

He runs a hand through his dirty hair and hopes Jade hasn't noticed that he hasn't showered yet today.

"One of them wanted to know if me and Tori were related and answering that led to more questions, and by the time you walked in, we'd already passed so far over the line of what's appropriate to say to strangers that I was actually _looking forward_ to applying dog ointment, and Tori just kept answering things and it made me keep answering things, and then you came and then, well, the they were already too invested to let it go. I probably should have just let them think Tori's my sister, in hindsight."

"You do look sort of similar."

He shudders. "I can't imagine being related to Tori. I'd have to also be related to _Trina_."

Jade snorts. "Maybe that would finally get her to stop hitting on you. But, you know, probably not."

"Gross, Jade! Oh my God!" he tries to sound disgusted, but it mostly comes out amused.

He's missed this, he realizes. Just spending time with her, joking around. It had been true, what he'd said to Mrs. Nosy back inside. He loves her, still, always. As a friend, if nothing more. But the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles is making his heart beat a little too fast, and he thinks he was maybe going to kiss her in the waiting room if Maureen hadn't reappeared, and it was hardly the first time he's wanted to kiss her since they broke up, even if he blamed the first twenty or so times on it being a habit. If he's being really honest with himself (which he is. It sort of feels like that kind of night) he's never loved her as only a friend. She was his best friend, once upon a time, but that had never been all. They've never been "just friends."

It's not over. He's known for a while now that nothing he does is going to get her out from under his skin.

She's still standing there, still smiling, and before he can think about whether or not it's the wisest move, he's blurting out,

"I would've said you."

Her forehead crinkles, but she hasn't stopped grinning, like she thinks he's going to make another joke. "Huh?"

"That kid who wanted to know who I think is prettier? It's you. I know I didn't answer her, but that wasn't- it wasn't because I needed time to think or anything like that. If she'd asked again, I would've said 'Jade.'"

She's not smiling anymore. "You think I'm prettier than Tori?"

"Of course I do. Being broken up, it doesn't change that. I always think you're pretty."

She shifts from one foot to the other and wraps her arms more tightly around her middle, and it kills him a little that she doesn't know how much his world still revolves around her.

"Even when I'm being bitchy to you?"

"Yeah, even then."

"Even when I-"

"Even when you haven't brushed your hair or put on your makeup or showered and you're trying really hard to set my alarm clock on fire with your mind. Even when you're yelling and you get kind of splotchy. Even when you're crying and you get really splotchy. And snotty. Even when you're sweaty. Always, Jade, okay?"

"Beck..."

Her eyes are wide, and a little shocked, and he remembers what the little girl had said, about girls getting scared inside, and he remembers thinking about how wrong Tori was when she said that Jade isn't scared of anything. She's afraid of being last, of being alone, of being forgotten or left behind, of losing control. So much so, that she leaves first before she's left. What he's never been ever to figure out is why no one else has ever seen through the façade. He still can, even now that she's trying just as hard to fool him along with everyone else. But it's not his place anymore, to see through her mask.

And then he decides he doesn't care what he's allowed or not allowed to do anymore. He wants to say things like this to her again, and she clearly needs to hear them, so why not from him?

He shrugs. "I think you're beautiful. And funny, and smart, and talented, and a bunch of other great things."

He's probably crossed some friendship lines, in that speech, but he really can't be bothered to care.

"Oh." She says, blinking. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

A silence comes over them, and he's in the middle of wondering if it should be uncomfortable, and what it might mean that it's not, and if it would be inappropriate to kiss her, when she speaks again, directly to her shoes.

"You're not so bad either."

"Oh yeah?"

She looks up. "Yeah. Might want to shower though. You're kind of giving off the vibe of a homeless guy who spent the night in a dumpster behind a fish market."

"Good, that's what I was going for."

She rolls her eyes, but she doesn't actually walk back to her own car until Cat comes skipping out the door, followed by Tori who looks exactly the way Beck would imagine a person who's just spent part of her night video chatting with a turtle and Cat's brother would look.

"Jade! Come on! Maureen fixed the turtle, and I want to go home and see him walk upright! Hurry!"

Jade sighs. "I think that's my cue. Have fun with the ointment."

"Have fun with Cat the dog."

She sticks her tongue out at him.

"Cute."

"You think so, huh?"

"I do, actually."

She blushed and walked off without a word. It occurred to him then, that flirting with Jade in a parking lot for ten minutes had actually made up for the evening of gross seafood, busybody strangers, and sick dogs.

Tori was looking at him funny as they climbed into the truck. "Hey Beck, are you alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am."


	4. Rockstar

**Title**: Rockstar

**Summary**: Jade-centric, during the very end of TFB&J.

**Length:** ~360

**Rating**: pg

**Genre**: Romance

It's not about him. She's not singing to him, not really (except for she's always singing to him, a little bit, but she's used to that by now and it doesn't matter much anyway, it's hardly the point). She's just singing. Singing for herself, and singing for the crowd, and singing for Cat and Robbie and Andre and Tori (and maybe even for Trina, because sometimes she sees how big Trina dreams and how hard she wants, and maybe, sometimes Jade feels the smallest stirrings of something like empathy).

And she's singing for Beck too, because they're friends now, but it's not _about_ him (except it sort of is, the way a lot of her songs are sort of about him, but that's not why she's singing, so). It's not about him. It's about her. This isn't some big reveal that she's been planning. It's a song. _Her_ song, and she wanted to sing it tonight, and that's all. There was no bigger motive. No plan.

It's an accident, there at the end, more than anything. She's been throwing looks all over the crowd the whole time she's been singing, and she looks at Beck one last time—before she looks out at the whole crowd to finish off her song—but she's slowing down now, calming enough that when she looks at him, she _really_ looks at him. And then she can't _stop_ looking at him, can't tear herself away from his gaze, and something heavy drops right through her, and then she _is_ singing to him, and he's looking at her like he used to, like he still does sometimes when no one else is around, and in seconds the applause will bring everyone back, but for now she's forgotten that they're there at all.

The song, the performance, they're not about him, and they never were, but somehow the song is, even though she didn't do it on purpose, and somehow she's not as bothered by it as she thinks she should be. And that changes everything.

_(I think you know me, you know me, you know me_).


End file.
